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"Amityville ... Amitysville?? ... Some sh*t?" #AmityvilleMurders #Ronald...

JOHNSCHOOL - Written & Directed by John Lynd

John Lynd as Sam Byck in Assassins

THE END OF THE APOCALYPSE (AS WE KNOW IT)!!!

4/26/2020

     Well, it's been a while. I haven't really kept up with this beast in some time. Totally by lack of trying, I can assure you. I know. You heard right. I've just been too fucking lazy. Had a lot of other shit to do and quite frankly, keeping up to date with a blog that nobody reads was near the bottom of my list. That's not to say there is a shortage of things to bitch about. There is certainly plenty of that. Let's see. Where to begin. 

     We'll begin with the obvious choice. The PANDEMIC. This overrated SHIT-STORM that everybody seemed to think would bring about the end of the world. What a fucking let-down that turned out to be, right? This was no apocalypse. Don't misunderstand me. I hate it. Everyone hates it. I suppose some of the good that's come out of it as a result is that it's pulled most of the focus away from the fucking Johnny Depp/Amber Heard horseshit. I'm so god damned tired of hearing about those two god damned heathens. I've read enough articles about Amber Heard screwing Elon Musk to fill an entire sub-volume of one of those horrible Fifty Shits of Grey books, and if I have to listen to another dramatic reading of Johnny Depp's text messages about fucking Amber Heard's charred corpse, I'm going to set fire to my own nuts. It's sickening and I'm tired of it. So, there is that. 

     Oh, yeah. Also, since the pandemic began on this continent and they started shutting everything down, traffic has been light-years better. That's fine by me. I'll take a bit of coughing and dry-heaving any day if it means I don't have to sit in the same fucking spot on the 91 freeway in Corona for thirty minutes staring at a fucking Pechanga billboard with Engelbert Humperdinck's hideous face on it. If I want to see a zombie, I'll go home and stream The Walking Dead on Netflix. 

     Now, back onto this pandemic shit. Gotta say, I'm extremely disappointed. This "end of the world" nonsense ain't what it was cracked up to be. We are what? Barely more than a month and a half in and this virus seems to be moving as slow as a fucking special Olympics golfing tournament for elderly cerebral palsy patients.  What a let-down. I thought this was going to be way more exciting like in The Stand, or I Am Legend. Instead it reminds me a lot more of that horrible 90's Fox cit-com Whoops, where nuclear war killed most of the earth's population except for a small handful of annoying people in a tiny farmhouse in Utah. (I think it was Utah. I don't fucking remember. I never watched more than five minutes of the series. I guess I just hated it so much that I WANTED it to be in Utah, because I DETEST Utah.)

     Anyway, people are still talking about how much things have changed since this started. God damn lying heathens in the news media keep ramming phrases like "the new normal," down our throats. Go fuck yourself, CNN. Kiss my ass, Fox News. Piss off, Yahoo. There is no "new normal." Okay, so we have to stand six feet apart now whenever we go stand in line at 7-Eleven. When we venture outside we are all expected to wear masks and gloves. Seriously, who gives a damn? Big fucking deal. Some people were already wearing masks even before this started. I can distinctly recall seeing that type of shit as far back as two years ago. It was a lot less people, but it definitely WAS happening. Now it's everybody. Or at least it's supposed to be. Unless of course you work at Hobby Lobby. Those fucking assholes are probably running through the streets stark-naked as we speak. Fuck em. Let em get sick. Let em die. We need less Bible-thumping heathens in this country to make room for more undocumented immigrants. I'm cool with that. 

     All that talk. "We will come out of this stronger. Better. This will be a new beginning. Society will be reset." Hell, even I believed it. For five minutes anyway. Then the TV and Internet news started spreading all the panic. ALL OF THEM DID THIS. Don't try to deny it. Regardless of whether you are liberal or conservative, you all damn well know that it was happening on BOTH sides of the fence. Some corporately-owned whorehouse like Fox News or CNN or Yahoo or MSNBC or Christian-Cracker-Jack-Box-Chronicle or some other such ragamuffin printed something like "4 BILLION PEOPLE EXPECTED TO DIE FROM CORONA-VIRUS BY MID-APRIL 2020." 

     Of course everyone saw that and they shit themselves. Then they IMMEDIATELY drove to the nearest grocery store. They didn't even wipe their asses first. They just RAN out to their cars. Maybe that's why they hoarded up all the toilet paper. They were so fucking terrified that they couldn't stop shitting in their boxer shorts. 

     Seriously, though, what in the fucking hell? ASS-WIPES, indeed. Of all the shit that you could hoard (no pun intended), we buy up all the ass-wipes?

     Why?

     Why?

     Why?

     And furthermore ... WHY?

     Oh, yeah, and I guess they snatched up all the bottled water, alcohol wipes and hand-sanitizer too. The latter three things I get. Gotta keep those filthy heathen germs off your skin if you don't wanna get sick. I guess Howard Hughes doesn't seem so bat-shit crazy after all now, does he? That's fine. 

     The turd-wipes, though? Not so much. Has it ever occurred to any of you that MAYBE if and WHEN the fucking apocalypse actually happens that maybe the factories will stop producing turd-wipes? Furthermore ... I should certainly hope that most of you know there was a time when we didn't actually USE turd-wipes. No, we sued leaves. Imagine that. Yeah, I didn't do so well in high school, but I didn't have too. That's one fact I already knew. 

     I would think that if we are going to return to the dark ages, as so many people seem to think we are, then now might be a good time for us to start re-familiarizing ourselves with all the "rustic" luxuries that such a life-style has to offer. Namely, relying upon nature to provide all of our sanitary needs. But I guess that's out of the question. Nope. We gotta have our fucking double-ply. Don't squeeze the Charmin. And you sure as HELL better not BOGART the Charmin, either. 

     "Get out of my way. I saw that last family pack of Scott-tissue thirty seconds before you did, asshole. GET OUT OF MY WAY before I ram this feather duster of up your ass. Then you'll never be able to wipe again, you fuck. "

     Seems pretty obvious to me that we are not yet quite ready for DOOMSDAY to happen. We are not prepared for the world to "END," as we know it. We need more time. We need more time to become even bigger assholes than we already are.

     About that. Many states seem to already be "easing up," as it were, on a lot of the restrictions that were put in place to slow the spread. I'm already seeing an increase in traffic. That's the worst part. Some areas are even "relaxing" the social-distancing. It's okay, I get it. It's been nearly two months. Most people have been stuck in their homes. ALONE. Or if not ALONE, then NOT with their partners. People are horny. People wanna fuck. I get it. 

     Which brings me to the next glorious chapter in this horrendous fucking mess. PROTESTS. Fucking people "PROTESTING" the lock-downs.

     God damn retards. Yeah, I know. I said "RETARDS." FUCK YOU. I don't care. They are. What else should we call them? Running around outside waving their shitty signs that they no doubt made with lousy low quality construction paper and magic markers that they purchased from fucking Hobby Lobby (bunch of dip-shits). Waving their American Flags and their Confederate Flags and their Nazi Flags and screaming, "I'm not wearing a mask. I don't need to social distance. Open up the golf-courses. Open the hair salons. My body. My choice." 

     Alright then. Fair enough. You wanna get sick? Be my guest. 

     You wanna die? Great! Good for you. 

     Wanna block traffic?

     Block ambulances?

     More power to you. In fact, I'll be happy to accommodate your fucking death wish. I'll give you what you want. Stand in front of my Crown Victoria. You can ride my bumper for a few hundred miles. 

     How does that sound? 

     There's a lot less cops out right now, so why the hell not? I'm already pretty much only selectively stopping at red-lights and stop signs as it is. 80+ mph on city streets is MY "new normal." Triple-digits on the freeway has become my new "routine." So, it would be nothing for me to take out a few hundred troublesome sign-wavers that are already endangering people. 

     So, yeah. I suppose it's all down HELL at this point. The infections are still spreading but the numbers really still aren't that massive when you look at the world's entire populace. Sorry, that's how I feel. At the time of this writing, the WHO page says the number of infected totals LESS than three million. I'll repeat that. LESS than three million. That's the INFECTED. That's not counting the people that have RECOVERED. The number of dead is LESS than 200,000. Again, LESS than 200,000. Those numbers may have seemed HUGE in the year 825-fucking-AD. WorldOMeter.info estimates that as of 2020, we have more than 7.8 BILLION units on this disgusting fucking globe. That's almost 8 BILLION people. 200,000 is barely even a fraction of that.

     Make no mistake. Don't misunderstand me. It is a LOT of people dead from one disease and it does suck that it's probably going to be more by the time this is over. It is BAD. Any loss of life is bad. It's sad and its tragic. Especially for those whose loved ones will be among the casualties. 

     That being said, some doctors have estimated that the total number of deaths will end up rounding out to around two million all over the world. Again, if it ends up being that many, well than that really fucking sucks. 

     Still ... that isn't even ONE PERCENT of the world's total population. Mr. Spock would probably say something like, "While that number is no doubt tragic ... it is also negligible." Sorry, not sorry. So, calm the fuck down, would ya please?

     My point? This ain't the fucking apocalypse. It never was. I think most of us know that now. Let's wait until the fall and revisit those numbers. Hopefully it will be way worse by then. There's a lot of god damn politicians that we could stand to lose to this nasty disease. I won't print their name here. Happy trails. Don't touch your face. 

Mike Pence's Plane Skids off Airport Runway in NYC. No one hurt!

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/mike-pence-plane-skids-off-runway-nycs-laguardia-001305717--abc-news-topstories.html

Here it is. More proof that the election is "rigged." Democrat Hillary Clinton used her gnarly mutant powers to make Pence's plan skid off the airport runway. I think she's in cahoots with Magneto, if you ask me. He taught her everything she knows. :D

Mike Pence's Plane Skids off Airport Runway in NYC. No one hurt!

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/mike-pence-plane-skids-off-runway-nycs-laguardia-001305717--abc-news-topstories.html

Here it is. More proof that the election is "rigged." Democrat Hillary Clinton used her gnarly mutant powers to make Pence's plan skid off the airport runway. I think she's in cahoots with Magneto, if you ask me. He taught her everything she knows. :D

STOP WITH THE NAME-CALLING … YOU FUCKING MORONS!!!

“I’m not racist, BUT …”

“I’m not homophobic, BUT …”

“I’m not anti-Semitic, BUT …”

"I'm not religious, BUT ..."

Well, folks, we can now add another phrase to this joyful lexicon of psychotic, enigmatic and ultimately MEANINGLESS repartee.’

   

“You are entitled to your opinion, BUT …”

In my fun travels through the digital no-man’s land we call social media, I’ve been seeing this phrase tossed around A LOT more, lately. Without FAIL, and in EVERY instance, it precedes a barrage of nasty INSULTS, NAME-CALLING, derogatory and brash blanket-statements to the other person.

Is this what we’ve been reduced to?

DEBATE 101: WHEN YOU RESORT TO NAME-CALLING, YOU’VE LOST THE ARGUMENT.

I thought most people, or rather, most ADULT people, were familiar with this ideology. Even those who haven’t even taken a public speaking course usually have heard this one. You’ll have to excuse me. There I go again, having hope for the intellect of humans. I’m gonna have to stop doing that. It’s going to be the death of me.

On the other hand, maybe most people just aren’t adults. I’ve seen irrefutable PROOF that having a chronological age printed on your ID card that is above the number 18 doesn’t necessarily mean you are an “adult." Hey, I’m cool with that. I’m not an adult, either, nor do I want to be. That’s a story for another day.

“WHEN YOU RESULT TO NAME-CALLING, YOU’VE LOST THE ARGUMENT.” It’s a catch-phrase. It’s a song-lyric. It’s been on bus-stop ads. I'm sure there's a poem written about it somewhere. Hell, I’ve even seen it printed on those little slips of paper that are inside FORTUNE COOKIES, for FUCK SAKE.

But nobody seems to give a FUCK. Nobody cares about civility, courtesy, or decency, any longer. It’s more about who can quote a bogus “poll” the fastest, or who is quickest to share the most offensive and DISGUSTING meme to their Facebook wall that insults the other party’s candidate. Then when that fails, out come the knives. The last line of defense. The name-calling. "You suck. You're STUPID. You are a NIT-WIT. You are EVIL."

SICKENING!!! I just want this election to be OVER. Can we just end this NOW, please? Have the election early. Fucking END IT!!! Just end it NOW. I don’t give a good god damn WHO WINS. They both look incompetent to me.

At the very least, enough with the FUCKING NAME-CALLING!!! It’s not helping anybody.

Why not resort to some fucking INSIGHT, instead? Ask QUESTIONS. Don’t just REACT. Breathe. Think. Read, or as Bill Hicks once said, just “Shut the FUCK up!!!”

I won’t stand for any more name-calling, and I’m not going to listen to any more of these god damned, brash, reckless, unreasonable, and unrealistic BLANKET-STATEMENTS about people.

Even if we are on the same side, I’m not going to put up with it. If you talk shit about another friend of mine, just because they disagree with you, I’m going to STRAIGHTEN your ass out. I’d do the same for you, if they were talking smack.

“Oh, she’s voting for him? She’s NUTS!!!”

“Oh, he’s voting for HER? He’s SICK!!!”

“She’s an idiot.”

“He’s a moron.”

“Those people are WACK-JOBS.”

“Those folks are SCUMBAGS!!!”

“They’re fools. They’re retards. They’re CRAZY. They’re ASSHOLES. They’re NUTS!!!”

FUCK THAT!!! ENOUGH, ALREADY!!!

How does THIS sound? You are ALL fucking SICK!!! You are ALL fucking mentally ILL!!! But guess what else?

I’m fine with that.

Everybody has a backstory. Everyone has experienced horrors in their lives. This world is a nightmarish and hateful place, after all. People are beating, torturing, maiming, raping, killing, and MARTYRING each other, EVERY GOD DAMNED DAY. Everyone has REASONS for why they feel a certain way. It’s not always just the blind following the blind. I can’t accept that, and I WON’T. We’ve all had something terrible happen to us that somewhat legitimizes and gives credence to why we feel the way we do.

Okay, so somebody wants to vote for Hillary. Maybe they got raped as a child by an elder. Perhaps they are related to an immigrant that got murdered by a racist band of thugs. Maybe they were married to one of those unfortunate black men who got shot-down by the police when they were un-armed. Maybe it's a Mom who lost one of her children in one of the six-dozen or so school shootings that seem to happen every week in this country. Don't judge them without getting their backstory first. They have their reasons. You want to discuss differences of opinion, fine. Leave the ANGER, resentment, and NAME-CALLING at the door. They’ve been through enough.

Somebody supports Trump? Maybe they had a loved one that got killed in Iraq, or they were related to one of the victims in the Benghazi massacre. Perhaps someone they love very much died in deplorable conditions, resulting from what they see as a failed medical system under President Obama. Maybe they were laid off from a good job that was outsourced to another country, and have not been able to find work since that time. Hence, this person’s family has been consistently starving, and battling sickness. You want to try to sway them, or reason with them? Good for you, but if they are set in their ways, LEAVE THAT PERSON ALONE. They’ve suffered ENOUGH.

Are certain decisions still going to be ultimately WRONG, in the grand-scheme? Of course they are! Obviously! But there’s nothing we can do about that. We don’t know. Only time will tell. Or whatever you want to believe in. The Grand-Master of what IS. Call it God, call is Buddha, Yahweh , Allah, The Force, Cheech & Chong, whatever.  George Carlin referred to it as “The Big Electron.” Roger Waters believes it is the natural law of science that determines things. I’ve resorted to just calling it “The Ding.” The Ding that KNOWS things. Only the DING that KNOWS things is going to know what is ultimately right or wrong. That level of intellect, however, is always going to be beyond our reach. We can only settle for enlightenment, at this point. That shouldn’t be too hard, right? It certainly worked for Gandhi. Until somebody shot him, that is >:(.

I’ve been trying to reason with people in many circles of my existence on this principal for quite some time, and I don’t think I’ve made that much progress. Oh, well!!! At least I tried. I’m certain of one thing. I can’t hate anymore. I can’t do it. It’s going to be the death of me. I’d rather die knowing I made some effort to create communication and love, rather than get killed being just another lightning rod of hate.

I love my friends and my family too much. Even with ALL the horrors I've seen. I still think most people are good people. Everyone has value. Everyone works hard to support themselves, or to support and to protect the people that they love, that love THEM. Everyone depends on someone.

No, not everybody is good. I get that. I'm not stupid. Once in awhile you will get a Stalin, or a Bin Laden, or a Hitler, or a George Zimmerman in the wood-pile (Ugh ... Zimmerman. I HATE THAT FUCKER SO MUCH. Every time I see his shit-eating green on TV, I want to ram my FIST through the screen >:(.), but these types are few and far between. These people are responsible for why we have so many victims.  

And if you are wondering, YES, I WILL be voting on November 8^th, just like I’ve voted in the last three elections. Not because I necessarily think it’s going to help. It’s mainly just to keep people off my fucking back about it. I’ve been through that heartache enough times, believe me.

But as far as broadcasting which person is going to get the big fat THUMBS DOWN, don’t hold your breath. I intend to keep that a secret from now on. It’s a private fucking ballot, after-all. It’s not always vital to flap your lips about who you are voting for.

My maternal grandfather, Phillip Earl Carey was a MESS. He was a career alcoholic, womanizer, and violently abusive toward a number of his children. My Mom and my Uncle got it the worst. It was like a daily chore for him. “Go to work, come home, cut the grass, take out the garbage, do the laundry … what am I forgetting? Oh, yeah, BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF MY DAUGHTER RUTH ANN AND HER BROTHER, GLEN. Can’t leave that out.”

He was right about one thing, though, “Don’t discuss politics with ANYBODY. Even if you think that person might agree with you. And don’t tell ANYBODY who you voted for. It’s a private ballot for a reason.”

We’ve gone away from that. I think that could be the source of a lot of our problems today. I know a lot of my closest friends might disagree with me, and that’s fine. Sometimes, however, I think ignorance IS bliss. If that person’s vote isn’t causing them to create direct harm for you, leave it alone.

I really don’t give a shit who wins. Just leave me out of the discussion. There’s plenty else to talk about.

For example:  Who did Negan kill? Now, THAT’S important. That’s actually the most important reason why I don’t want there to be a war, if Trump loses. I want to see The Walking Dead to its conclusion.

Anyway, happy hunting to you all! I hope to see you all on the morning of November 9^th.

CRUZIN' FOR A BRUISIN' >:(: Ted Cruz to consider re-entering the white house race, if he wins in Nebraska.

Cruz Might Restart His Campaign, But Won’t Say He’s for Trump

     Anybody with even a microscopic OUNCE of common sense and decency is going to see this for the sneaky, underhanded, SCUMBAG move that it is. If it comes to pass, that is. It won't.

 
     For those who don't remember, Cruz dropped out BEFORE Kasich, which took everyone by surprise, given that it's been clear for quite some time that Kasich didn't have a chance in hell. In fact, that's why I started to nickname John Kasich, The Snowball Candidate. If anybody needed to drop out last Tuesday it was Kasich THEN Cruz. Not the other way around.

 
     Furthermore, Kasich and Cruz made a deal, theorizing that if Kasich didn't campaign in Indiana, it would make the path to victory much more difficult for Trump, and likewise if Cruz didn't campaign in Oregon and New Mexico, the same would be true there as well, and the states would likely go to Kasich. Seems like a sound plan, right? Too bad Cruz got his ass handed to him in Indiana. Like Tony Wendice said in Dial 'M' for Murder, "It might work on paper." 

    So, Cruz bailed out, leaving poor John Kasich to fend for himself. Some vets might see that as tantamount to a soldier abandoning a wounded comrade in the battle-field. (Not that that analogy would mean anything to a man who never served a day in the military in his life >:(.) 

     Kasich was left on his own. Knowing that he was helpless to make his way through the remainder of the campaign, he did what was natural. He threw up his white flag, and gave up the fight. I would have done the same thing, and it happened not even fourteen hours after Cruz made his announcement. 

     So, now that Ted Cruz sees there may be a wider gap for him to move forward, he's having second thoughts? 

     HOW DARE YOU??? >:(. And you always say Trump fights dirty. You need to be ashamed of yourself, Ted Cruz. After all your talk about how Trump is a thug, and a buffoon, you've just proven that you are no better than he is. 

     If you even had a narrow chance before, you sure as HELL ain't gonna get the nod now. 

     GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2015, 7:35pm: The Black Friday Zombie Apocalypse

Now that another Halloween has come and gone, I suppose I get to once AGAIN experience the joy of watching department store chains air their annual sheep-herding ads about Black Friday. This phenomenon still ranks high on my list of the top ten BANES OF MY EXISTENCE. People still can’t seem to fathom why this bothers me so much. Let me explain.

Look!!! Sometimes on the final Friday of November I just like to go to the store, okay. NOT TO CHRISTMAS SHOP. Just to pick up something for the house. Maybe I need a case of Pepsi, or I might be out of dish soap. Perhaps my hemorrhoids have really been flaring up and I’m in need of another tube of Preparation H.

Whatever the case may be, I’m there to get just ONE THING. On most normal days of the year I could be in and out of there in five minutes flat. Not so on Black Friday. I’d rather not have to deal with the drama of wading through a heard of about 600 rabid cattle that have been camping out in the parking lot for the last three days to save 10 percent on a flat screen TV that just had a 75 percent INCREASE on its regular price two days earlier.

“Ooh, look at me. I was among the first hundred and seventy people in Corona, CA to get the IPhone 12, and the best part is I saved $10 bucks because I bought it on Black Friday. Now, I did miss two days of work, in the process … AND I contracted pneumonia from sleeping out on the sidewalk … AND I think my ex sneaked into my house and boiled my hamster while I was away … BUT … it is an IPhone 12, after all. So, it was well worth it. “

People complain CONSTANTLY that our politicians are dumb. They bitch and moan that the government doesn’t know how to run the country. “They can’t balance the budget, they can’t take care of our elderly, they don’t want to get healthcare to our veterans,” yadda yadda yadda, boo hoo boo hoo!

               Such inconsistent and hypocritical bullshit. As usual, MY CONTEMPT KNOWS NO BOUNDS.

               Are we civilians really that much smarter? This is not my idea of intelligent and “enlightened” behavior. This is actually the kind of behavior I’d expect from third-generation clones of Beavis & Butthead after they’d both just been given a frontal lobotomy.

Not very bright, my friends. The more I think about it, the more EMBARRASSED I get.

Let me tell you something else. I actually have some friends that have been given IQ tests, and they were ranked in the mildly-retarded range on the scale. Yet, even THEY have enough sense to find something more productive to do with their time on the first day after Thanksgiving. Like cleaning the dog shit out of the crevices on the soles of their tennis shoes, with the tip of a pencil. I have to agree that is a much more intelligent past-time. It’s also a lot more FUN.

On that happy note, Merry Christmas, ya bunch of heathens … or whatever other fucking superstitious bullshit business holiday you fucking celebrate each year when it starts to get cold outside. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna get back to binging on Game of Thrones. 

Museum of Ancient Social History. To Your RIGHT: The Kim Davis Exhibit.

CNN: Kentucky-Clerk-Same-Sex-Marriage-Kim-Davis/

“Today, for the first time in history, an American citizen has been incarcerated for having the belief of conscience that marriage is between one man and one woman,” Roger Gannam, Lawyer for Kim Davis

"I think it's absurd to put someone in jail for exercising their religious liberty," Sen.  Rand Paul

“Today, judicial lawlessness crossed into judicial tyranny. Today, for the first time ever, the government arrested a Christian woman for living according to her faith. This is wrong. This is not America.” – Sen. Ted Cruz

     Okay, these people are DIPSHITS. This is not an issue of someone being “jailed for their religious beliefs.” This is not “religious persecution“ and it sure as SHIT is not the “first time in history,” yada yada yada.

     In fact, it is not a first ANYTHING. Stop saying it, please. STOP PLAYING THE “CHRISTIAN CARD.” It’s bullshit. You know you are full of shit. WE know you are full of shit, and YOU know that WE know you are full of shit. So, QUIT TALKING TO US LIKE WE ARE STUPID. You have your own constituency. Talk to them like THEY are stupid ... because they ARE. They voted for you, didn’t they?

     What this IS, is just another case of a person that got busted for BREAKING THE LAW. Plain and simple. It’s no different from somebody that got ticketed for speeding, or arrested for shoplifting, or put behind bars for aggravated assault.

     This woman was given a COURT ORDER, and she ignored it. So, she is in CONTEMPT of court. She’s been breaking the law for some months now. It just finally caught up with her. In a sense, she’s been A FUGITIVE FROM JUSTICE. She was breaking the law from the first moment that she turned those two young men away, back in June, and she’s done it multiple times since. The moment the Supreme Court dropped the gavel, same-sex marriage became valid nationwide, and as an elected GOVERNMENT official for the county, Kim Davis took an oath to honor and abide by the law. No one is telling her not to be a Christian. No one is keeping her out of Church. She is more than welcome to continue believing in her own outdated, and extinct superstitious garbage. As an official of the COURT, however, she needs to keep those beliefs out of the work place, and continue to perform the duties that she is PAID TO DO. If she wasn’t comfortable doing that, then she was more than welcome to resign. She chose to do neither. It’s a textbook case of “I’ve got my cake, and I’M GONNA EAT IT TOO.”

     IT DOESN’T FUCKING WORK THAT WAY.

     Imagine if I was driving one day and I suddenly thought to myself, “You know, I don’t like the color red. In fact, I find it extremely OFFENSIVE. Not only that. It’s against my religion to even LOOK at the color red, or acknowledge it in any way shape or form. So, I’m not going to wait at stop signs any more … because they are RED. Nor will I stop at red traffic lights. I’ll just keep driving. Because I have a right to stand by my religious convictions, and no court anywhere is allowed to take that from me.  The word of “God of the COLOR GREEN” supersedes traffic laws and as far as I’m concerned all lights are green ALL THE TIME.”

     How long do you think that would last? First of all, I’d obviously be putting hundreds of lives at risk, not to mention my own. Next, how long do you think I could get away with that before the CHP put out spike strips on the freeway, and then dragged my goofy ass out of the car and started pounding my brains into pulp with their clubs?

     And assuming I even lived long enough to make it to trial, how long do you think my “religious persecution” argument would stand up? Not long. They’d laugh me out of the damn courthouse and throw me in the BOOBY HATCH. I’d be declared LEGALLY INSANE, and rightfully so.

     Furthermore, it’s not like Kim Davis would have any trouble finding another job. She’s got enough work experience and seniority to where if she suddenly resigned from the clerk’s office then she could probably quickly find something else that pays just as much if not MORE. Not to mention she’s got a lot of supporters. Some misguided ally is bound to throw her a bone. Hell, I’m from Kentucky too. Some religious nut job distant relative of mine might even be the one to give her employment.

     But then again, she wouldn’t be able to use her GOVERNMENT JOB and GOVERNMENT OFFICE as a forum to spew out her religious objections to the decision of the United States Supreme Court. That is UNACCEPTABLE, and it REEKS of the worst and most vile form of corruption.

     Now, Kim Davis, I’m talking directly to YOU. I seem to recall reading somewhere about somebody saying “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caeser’s.” In other words, it’s not YOUR law. It’s the law of the country in which you live. You don’t have to like it. In fact, you can HATE IT as much as you want. You can complain about it to people you are doing it for, WHILE YOU ARE DOING IT. The bottom line is, you STILL DO IT. Why? Because that’s your FUCKING JOB. That’s why you were ELECTED, and it’s why taxpayers are PAYING YOU.

     There is a time and a place to complain and piss and moan about it. That is in Church. Or, you can go home and gripe about it to your soon to be FOURTH ex-husband (or fifth, or sixth, or whatever the fuck, I’ve lost track). Reason I assume he’s going to be your fourth ex is because you are currently sitting in jail, and he’s a guy. Guys have needs. He’s not gonna be able to stay dry for long. You never know. He may step out with the UPS Man. Then won’t you look the fool?

     What will you do then? Pray about it, I suppose. More power to you. Good luck with that. 

I Don't Exist - The Random Rants of Franklin James Phillips: Happy Birth...

Bridge to Nowhere: Anger and the Laws of Physics

Well, it's not ever day that I get told that I need to "get a fucking job." Actually, to be perfectly frank, I'VE NEVER BEEN TOLD THAT.

Is it petty to respond harshly to someone who treats you harshly when they know nothing about you? Perhaps I'm missing something.

There's a certain sub-human that works locally. Obviously I can't name this guy, because as I'm sure most of you know, laws are in place to protect such scumbags, and if I name-drop I could get sued for libel and slander.

Forget about the fact this certain dirt-bag who must remain nameless judged and slandered ME without knowing ANYTHING ABOUT ME. That is of course irrelevant.

What's important is that I am being "PETTY" because I am giving him satisfaction. What matters is how I responded. Obviously I am just as bad as he is, because I allowed him to get under my skin.

I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been so quick to REACT. So quick to prove that I am no better, or worse than he is. This guy commented on something I had posted in the "thespian lovers" group, and lets just say it wasn't exactly complimentary. Not only was it not complimentary, but it was completely IGNORANT and without merit. Worse even. It was condescending. IT WAS VULGAR. I was so livid that I was TWITCHING.

I've got a job, okay? In fact I have SEVERAL. It's just that the cumulative incomes of all of them don't amount to enough to where I can keep up with certain things without occasional assistance from friends, and loved ones, but I ALWAYS PAY EVERYONE BACK. I AM taking steps to correct that problem.

Why would I be making hundred mile round trips to LA if that wasn't the case?

Ignorance, consistency and hypocrisy are going to be the three colors of kryptonite that destroy me in this business. I do NOT respond well to them. The aforementioned party that passed judgement on me today is far from perfect. In fact he is the POLAR OPPOSITE of perfection, and I guarantee you he knows that better than anybody else. So, rather than make efforts to correct the faults (like I do) he SLINGS MUD on people that have DONE NOTHING TO HIM.

I've heard NOTHING but horror stories about this person. I had long since promised myself that I would NEVER work with him based solely on the incidents I had heard of from multiple sources of his ill-treatment of certain people in the artistic community that I've come to respect, admire, and even love. I was very fortunate in that he had never crossed me personally.

Today that changed. It will NEVER cease to fascinate me how quickly just a few simple words from a person worth less than sewer vermin can tear to shreds years of confidence in one's hard-work, and their network of accolades. The irony is I just saw this dude in a show, and even though I knew what kind of douche bag he is I STILL had favorable things to say about his work. I was willing to walk a mile in his shoes, and STILL give him the benefit of the doubt.

NEVER AGAIN. This prick JUDGED me without DOING ANY RESEARCH. He KNOWS NOTHING, and will CONTINUE TO KNOW NOTHING. He is DUST. He is AIR. He is ANTIMATTER.

I was infuriated, and still am, but now I'm more embarrassed than anything else. Is that fair to me? I don't think so. This person pushed my buttons and I responded accordingly. They've managed to prove that I am on the same level as them. The very idea makes me want to VOMIT. Especially given that it's probably true.

I've been told that "he who is hurting OWNS the problem." Sometimes it's true. In this instance it's not. This guy ROBBED me of my day, and I am BEYOND livid that I am not being allowed to even RANT to my closest friends about it. How dare you?

This is why artists become hateful. This is why people get arrogant. It doesn't just materialize out of thin air. We have to get PROVOKED. There is only so much bullshit I'm going to listen to before I bite back. Today I bit back. Basic law of physics: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I love my friends. That is never going to change. And why is that? Because my friends love me, that's why. Simple common courtesy. It's a pisser that certain third-grade dropouts never pick that up. I guess common sense isn't something you can be taught. It's either there, or its not.

I may be NUTS. I may have a short-fuse, and I realize that I act obnoxious, abrasive and spoiled most of the time. This person that crossed me today is all of those things and more, but I have one talent that he lacks. It's common sense. You don't BITE the hand that feeds you. I once paid hard earned money to see HIM perform. True, it was mostly by default, because I was really there to see my friends who were also in the cast, but the bottom line is I coughed up hard-earned dough to watch a play that had HIS name in the program. So, I paid for HIS show. Whether he got paid to do the part or not is immaterial. Now, I ask for help, and this miserable pile of FILTH is telling me to "GET A JOB?" He needs to GET A SOUL.

He can go STRAIGHT TO HELL.